“only do what your heart tells you.” - princess diana
truthfully, a lot has prepared me for these times. the solitary life doesn’t feel like a struggle, especially because in my town it is still acceptable to run and walk on the streets, as long as you are still mindful about it. but beyond that, I spent a lot of quiet days in Petropolis, exactly a year ago, where the only show in town most days was the fera (outdoor farmers market), picking green basil leaves to turn into pesto, afternoon soap operas, and beers and sardines at night. I spent a lot of time with myself when walking across the French portion of the Via Francigena, talking to myself for hours at a time along the dizzyingly straight, sunny canal to Chalons-en-Champagne. And most recently, and palpably, in December, I moved to the edge of backcountry Greenwich, which complicated my social life based in NYC for. time, but now feels like an inspired choice.
beyond the details of my individual life, I think that for all creative and solution-oriented minds currently quarantined, the constraints of a new way of life have been inspiring. you get more blank slate time. every calendar gets an N-95 mask for its free time, where all kinds of obligations, travel time, recovery time and general busy-ness would normally move right in. you get time to yourself, with one catch, that you can’t “really go anywhere”. but like an episode of project runway or chop’t, or like, any endeavor in life, you have to have one weird challenge to make it interesting.
so let’s go. I started thinking of what the most beautiful days would look like for me. a morning run, a super tidy space, meditation in the morning, meditation before bed, healthy meals, time to exfoliate and self-tan and moisturize and listen to good music and positive you tubers while I’m at it. time to write, time to edit + film video clips, time to catch up on work projects, because everything lives on my laptop anyway, time to study and read, tiime to arrange cut flowers and light candles and call my mom, try that recipe and even make my own rosewater for it!
what if it told you that you can live your personal dreams and it’s the best thing you can really do for the general population at the moment to boot?
I realize there are mixed feelings about running during this period, but I want to write about my run because it was so beautiful.
I will add two notes about how I feel about running during this time-
1) I chose roads where I ran with cars but very, very, far from other people, crossing the road for other joggers
2) there is something extremely beneficial for one’s own mental, physical, and I believe even specific virus-fighting faculties to go for a run. it’s an affirmation of a healthy respiratory system and helps me think more clearly to make good decisions when changes in all areas of life demand decisions.
today I made a new decision to take a left instead of a right, and my imagination was the beneficiary.
of a hill where the daffodils had all come in
of the comedy of a brown hydrangea flowerhead rolling in the winds, the cinematic tumbleweed of a self-isolating town in picturesque New England
a beautiful house that left the old bones of a stable or garage standing between their driveway and backyard, creating the most aesthetic 3 picture frames
crossing paths with another jogger who, every experience of my life can lead me to correctly identify at a glance as a european ultra-runner
a tiny hidden sports practice field belonging to greenwich academy, which reminded me of an alternate reality I had since forgotten about, where I went to Miss Porter’s after freshman year
a big brown tree stump, evidence of where a great old tree stood, now lavishly surrounded by the most lovely little purple spring flowers
as I spend more and more waking time reflecting on life, and the imagination within each of us which creates and decides what it can be, my 5-mile run was such a meaningful practice! the beautiful things that have already passed through my eyes, perhaps, through peripheral vision as I drove to some anticipated destination, got a chance to download fully into my imagination.
where they have grown into this post and soon, tomorrow’s run.