sometimes I can't decide whether I believe that we move fast
or time moves slow
but I like it, though
(victor vasquez)
________
things are happening in the micro lately, so this blog is about a microscopic practice. because I like to be current (-ish) i’m calling it “flipping the switch”, like the drake song that turned into a meme where j.lo and and alex rodriguez switched outfits in their super nice bathroom.
my kind of “flipping the switch” could also be called “instant revision” or maybe even what it means to “turn the beat around”
it’s basically the art of finding your power in the moments that disturb you, trigger you, upset you, challenge you, throat-punch you, or otherwise excite you.
it’s happened to me like, 3-4 times in the past week, so, what once thought of as “flashes” of clarity, I am now realizing is a practice.
basically step one is something “BAD” happens.
examples from my own life:
- seeing empty shelves and sold out signs in shops
-the time an airbnb was double booked and the strangers knock on the door in the middle of the night
-getting hit by a citibiker (lol), errant rockaway surfer
-missing an appointment because of an accident then the reschedule being cancelled
-someone goes off the handle and yells on the phone or in my face
-someone @’s me something I don’t like
-the delivery person fails to deliver before an event where timing matters
-people whispering
-getting denied at a the door of a party for showing up after a 10-mile run without going home first
-getting ditched on 2 hours of hungover plane sleep on a pier in Venice
-getting lost in Picardie with an (almost) dead phone
-having 1-2 friends in Barcelona, for both of whom, it becomes apparently midnight, are not making it to the club with you as planned
when I reflect on the past few weeks, I realize that ALL of these moments (some taken from the past year as well), that prick at my sense of well-being just a little bit more than the other millions of events that happen on any given day, also have become my favorite moments because embedded in each one is an opportunity to flip the switch, step into power and/or learn something about myself.
in each case, big to small, everything turned out cool, and it actually was more exciting to feel like I had great control over the outcomes, even when it wasn’t smooth sailing, then if things had worked out the normal way!
and it seems like it is a practice, because it’s basically the same process for turning each situation around-
an excerpt from my overdue library book, “stillness speaks” by eckhart tolle-
“start practicing "not naming" with small things. If you miss the plane, drop and break a cup, or slip and fall, can you refrain from naming the experience as bad and painful? can you immediately accept the "is-ness" of that moment? naming something as bad causes an emotional contraction within you. when you let it be, without naming it, an enormous power is suddenly available to you... when you are in a nonreactive relationship to experiences, what you would have called "bad' before often turns around, quickly, if not immediately, though the power of life itself".
basically, when one of these events pop up, I go out of my way to detach from my emotions (in some cases it’s easier than others) i go out of my way not to affirm them, not to react, if there are other people around me affirming the situation as bad or helpless, I sometimes cut them or off, or just completely tune it out. I don’t care to figure out who is to blame, how this could possibly happen, who is wrong, who is right, what is fair, I just look at what is in front of me and try to figure out the best possible outcome. and then what I can do right now to get there.
seriously, all of the events on my aforementioned list have become cool stories and happy memories because of this practice!
like when someone hits you with their surfboard or citibike, all you have to do is check in with yourself, are you physically hurt? if so, get help. if not, carry on, and if you just pause and say, no worries, you can keep surfing unperturbed! over time your reflexes and defensive driving skills will even improve by getting hit every once in a while. so it will happen less often without you having to yell at anyone to watch out for no reason and disturb the peace. you can carry on your own session unperturbed. and especially in the case of getting hit by a citibiker, you end up a legend for not even blinking!
if there’s no toilet paper on the shelves, there’s no reason to get upset, just affirm to yourself, we live in a world of abundant toilet paper, and I’m just one little person. ask yourself, what am I going to do now? then ask someone unpacking the boxes if there is any toilet paper? If it a grumpy manager who shakes their head and says, no, impossible, we haven’t seen toilet paper in these parts for years, just move on quickly, and remind yourself, we live in a world of abundant shops that could possibly have toilet paper with different supply chain schedules, and move on, undiscouraged until you find paper and it feels like striking gold for all your efforts.
everything is happening so slow right now, it’s the perfect time to put “trigger” situations in slow motion and practice flipping the switch.
you are always spiraling to the optimal solution!